killing the moment we thought was so special

sometimes I sit by myself, and look at people imagining their lives and who they are and it makes me sad that I will never know these people or it not really about that, I feel sad because I so desparately want them to be the way I've imagined them to be.
sometimes I want to be one of those faces I make up, so I could just for one moment see myself in a different light

I've always been fighting. fighting battles with myself and now you've stolen all my energy and replaced the energy with pictures of yourself. and now I'm fighting against this, and I think I've lost this battle, but I can still win the war, you know.

writing about you is a way for me to be close to you.

15.november
<3

she is all there, darling,
she is all you,
melted down and fitted for your body.

let's face it, you're not quite acquainted with my face
I'm a bright red painted stain and the smoke from the car
engine was rising our. . love

she is more than that; you know you have to have her back
and,

I give back your heart
I give you back

she is exquisit; the sum of yourself really,
and here is something that will hold you

her!
she is solid.

I, on the other hand, loved you too much



written; 6. oktober 08

all i ever wanted was someone who could hold me

" du holder fast i meg, fordi minnet om å ha elsket meg er sterkere enn vissheten om at du ikke gjør det lengre".

før du går nå, vil jeg at du skal tenke på hvem du er. du må hjelpe meg med å finne deg. vi skal gjøre dette sammen, men jeg tildekker ikke. jeg åpner. jeg åpner deg. neste gang du kommer, vil du takke meg - for da har jeg funnet deg. da har jeg endelig funnet deg.

just say we were lovers, and we'll call it even.

høyest elsket

I remember that time when you put your hand on my pulse and we felt so connected and fragile. it was the most intimate moment. and I remember that time when you were sleeping and you dreweled all over me, and I licked your spit off of your lips and tasted it. I want to kick myself in the heart for not protecting you. I want to comfort you, though I'm the one who is hurting you. this isn't about love, because I know something you dont. but it'll grow on us, eveything will find itself and I have so many stories I can tell you while we wait.

I put my hands up,
to praise

-------------
when you touched my hip,
i knew you would end up
buying me a drink.

størst av alt er kjærligheten

( I beg the lord not to hear what's been said tonight)

love is fragile and sore
but we'll love forever, our hearts will be exhausted
our legs and arms will evolve and move and there will
be nothing left but our bodies.
we'll love, turn and change into each other
it will keep us above it all.

love keeps us pierced together
and you can never escape that

for Gud

nå faller vi. Du&jeg.
for det er Du ingen kan røre ved.
Du har inget ansikt, ingen munn å kysse
når Ordene ikke lenger strekker seg til oss,
er det fordi vi har glemt ut om vi gjør dette
på grunn av eller for Deg,
for vi er sårbare,
for vi elsker,
for jeg sa hold meg hold meg hold meg
og Du holdt himmelen for meg

.
det er hjertet ditt jeg er ute etter
. . and yet there is Someone, whose hands infinitly calm,
holding up all this falling.

fall #9

"enkelte indianerer tror at trommen er universets hjerte.
hva skjer med resten når du knuser hjertet?"

.
så sent kom jeg til å elske deg,
for du skjønner,
du var i ditt inneste indre inni deg selv
og jeg var utforbi utenfor uten deg,
så jeg så etter deg der ute.